Aaron's funeral was one year from yesterday, April 19th. I see him layed out in the casket, black shirt, black pants, very handsome even though it was his corpse. My angel pin and cross pin were on his lapels. Many put personal things on him and around him. The flowers were to beautiful.
Neena hung onto my arm and cried when the funeral started. My friend Paula drove down from Milwaukee to be there with me. I hugged so many teenagers who were crying. Tracy and I stood with Tina and Dale, supporting them as best we could. My mom drove down, Ryan and Hope's dad (Tony) drove out from the city to be at the funeral, Mom's friends came to comfort her, Tracy's husband and step-daughters arrived to grieve their loss. 550 people packed into this little room listened to the funeral and paid their final respects. No room to park, no room to sit, no doubt Aaron was very loved.
Hope had a very hard time. She hid behind a chair in the back of the room for a long time. Tina tried getting her to come out; so did Tracy. They turned to me and said, "She'll listen to you." I asked her what was wrong. She said she wanted to be alone with Aaron to say good-bye. Fortunately everyone was gone except for the people at the funeral home. I asked if she and I could be left alone so Hope could say good-bye to her brother. Once we were alone, she stepped onto the stool and looked in.
She asked if she could touch him. I told her yes then showed her how he was still soft in areas on his face. We played with his ear lobe, pressed down on his hands and sat looking at him for a long time.
She asked if she could put a rose in his casket. I asked her what color. We went to the flowers and we each picked one out. We placed them next to Aaron then slowly said good-bye.
God has given Hope a special connection with me. She's called several times during the night crying because she feels so sad about losing Aaron. I talk to her, listen to her, and sometimes drive out to her house for a hug. It's so sad. It reminds me of my own grief and how I'm handling it.
Only God can mend a broken heart.
I pray healing for all of us who lost a beloved family member.
Amy
