Blessed Be Your Name

Dear God,

Today is a busy day. I'd rather be busy than bored. I'm doing some work for You, heading over to Tracy and Bill's to check on the kitties then to the neurologist.

Going to study the products for half an hour, make calls for an hour then document for another half hour.

I'm nervous about talking to someone. Please let me feel confident and friendly, not ill equipped and scared.

Lord, you are the one on whom I call.
Please guide me and grant me success.
I'd like to earn more money so I can rest comfortably.
I'd like the WCA to be blessed by and through my efforts.

May this day and all days forward be a blessing to You.

Love Amy Kathleen

Thinking

Dear God,

I sit here at my desk wondering what to do. I've already worked, taken a walk, eaten my meals and checked email. Now what do I do?

My back is still hurting. I can lay down to rest. I can watch some DVD's I haven't yet viewed.

I can watch TV episodes online. I can play the guitar. I can color.

Hm. I think I'll color and rest. And listen to beautiful music.

Thanks, God!
Love Amy Kathleen

Bored

Dear God,

I'm bored, tired, sore and depressed.
Went to church this morning.
It was great!!

Signed up for classes starting next week.
Looking forward to Celebration of Hope.
Just feeling down.

Aaron's one year is quickly approaching.
I need to let Kelly know in case my calls seem less.
Sometimes I need a distraction.
Maybe making calls to churches is really good.

I'm antsy, bouncing my legs, want to eat anything in sight.
Trying to calm down but don't know how.
Maybe I'll watch a movie in bed.
Put on a clean sheet and snuggle in.

Good night,
Love Amy Kathleen

Acronym

Stressed Thinking Obsessed Mylanta Arguing Can't Help

Arrested Childlike Hovering Excuses

Stomach ache. Rolling, Rumbling, Soley, Stumbling.

Mind is full, Body aches,
Back in pain, Something breaks.

A glimmer of light, Slowly peers in,
I see a dark shadow, Again and again.

Nowhere am I safe, Nowhere am I found,
I dig a deeper hole, Into the underground.

Lies and deception, Creep around my head,
If I'm not careful, I'll wind up a tire tread.

Showing a path I want to go down,
Lead by Jesus, He knows His way around.

Come for me quickly Lord, I say with no more fear,
Let my loved ones know this: That you are always near!!

I love you, Lord!
Amy Kathleen

Cry Day

Dear Father,

Today seems to be a cry day.
I sit here in awe of who you are.
Your mighty works,
Your wonderous deeds,
Your faithful comfort,
Your provision for needs.

You alone are the One I praise.
From the depths of my soul,
To the ancient of days.
I am steadfast in Your will,
Guiding my hands and feet,
Even when I am still.

Your name, Jesus, I call on at night.
When I hear scary footsteps,
Creeping down the hall,
I cry out to you,
For you are my All in All.

Tears of sadness,
Tears of grace,
Tears flowing down,
My childlike face.

It's you on whom I depend.
It's you on whom I call.
It's you I want to please with my life.
For you gave up everything,
For the sake of us all!

Plans for Me

Lord, what are your plans for me?
I know they are good, filled with purpose.
I know they will shape me into the image of Christ.
I wonder how you're going to do this?

While talking with Mike yesterday, I expressed a desire to return to Bright Hope.
We had an honest discussion about my health.
I told him the only person I stay in touch with is Annie.
I didn't know about the "walk out" in 2009.

I think I'm ready to return to work, Lord.
I'm so bored at home.
I'd like to return part time then full time.
I'd like to return to Bright Hope.

If that's your desire for me, please make it so.
If not, please help me prosper with the WCA.
If you want me part time in both ministries,
Show me how to do it in a healthy way.

I love you, Lord.
I won't make any movements until you say so.
The contract with the WCA is still being reviewed.
My prayer is that I move forward into your plan.

Love,
Amy Kathleen

Physically Drained

Dear God,

I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. I want to take two sleeping pills so that my body can rest undisturbed by noises or other distractions.

I miss Aaron.
I miss him very much.

Love Amy

Dear God,

It's me, Lord, coming to you with a broken heart. I knew these emotions would float up to the top when I spent some time listening to a song that reminds me of Aaron's death. He's gone, Lord. He's gone from this earth. His family and friends who love and miss him are trying to live everyday without him. For many it's difficult to bear.

All I can do is remember him.
18 years old.
Love comes with risk.
Aaron was worth the risk.

Aaron's 11 months

Aaron's beautiful smile

My dearest Aaron,
Tomorrow is the eleventh month since your untimely death.  I hold back tears of sadness, afraid I will break down again.  When you were just a little guy you had so many smarts and a zeal for taking life by its horns.  Even then you stood out from your brothers.  I'm so sorry you were abused as a child.  For all the abuse.  I wish I could have done something to prevent you and your brothers from getting hurt.  I wish I would have spent more time with you, building into you and helping you to see how much your Creator adores who you are.  You have the most beautiful smile.  You were so easy going.  I liked your long hair, crazy socks, and expressive outter wear.  You were a man living in his own castle undisturbed by others opinions.  You were wise to listen to the right people who built into you and improved a natural strength.  You had to endure so much.  I think that's why people were drawn to you.  You could understand their pain and problems without judgment or shame.  I'm still mad at you for huffing your life away.  I know you didn't mean to die.  I know you thought it wasn't going to happen to you.  It did and I miss you.
Love Aunt Amy