Dear Abba,
Today I'm having a hard time trying to identify my feelings. My brain is scattered, I feel like eating everything not nailed down, my glasses broke so I'm using an old pair, I don't have insurance this month and I'm worried about how much Medicare and a supplemental policy are going to cost. I guess I'm anxious and feeling depressed at the same time.
But is it really anxiety and is it really depression? Or is this another stage of the grief process where you just feel broken and the pieces are scattered all over the place? I don't know.
I want to hide in my house. I want to stay in bed with a bag of chips and dip. Fortunately, I don't have either. I want to stop whatever is going on inside of me and I want to stop it now. How do I do it?
I'll read my bible study, read my book. I'll keep my eyes and ears open to your whispers. Maybe I can read our next chapter for small group. Maybe I can color. Nothing seems to matter. I have no hope.
I'm worried about Hope, my niece. She's your precious daughter, Lord. Please help her with the anxiety and sadness. Please don't let her flunk out of 6th grade. Please give her the strength she needs to get through each day. Please give wisdom to Tina and Dale as they try to discern what's best for their daughter. She's very sensitive. Please help her manage her emotions. If I can do anything to help please prompt me.
Wow. I think that was it, Lord. Now I feel unshackled. My heart is lighter. I'm not trying to escape. I actually feel better after that prayer.
Thanks, Lord.
Love Amy Kathleen
